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Ride the Lawsuit

Thursday, July 17th, 2003

Metallica is suing the Canadian band Unfaith.

Why? Because the band uses the E and F chords, in order, which Metallica says is a Metallica trademark. Says Lars:

“We’re not saying we own those two chords, individually – that would be ridiculous. We’re just saying that in that specific order, people have grown to associate E, F with our music.”

Thanks for clearing that up, Lars. Next up: Eminem trademarks “rape your mother” themes in rap tunes, David Coverdell trademarks Robert Plant’s voice, and Bryan Adams trademarks Ryan Adams.

Remember: Metallica good. Copying the E-F chord progression: bad.

EMBARASSING UPDATE: I’ve been duped.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 17th, 2003 at 11:16 am by Radley Balko and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

14 Responses to “Ride the Lawsuit”

  1. #1 |  B Kieffer |  July 17th, 2003 at 11:44 am

    I hope this goes to court. I would like to see it be a matter of legal record that Metallica’s music is formulaic crap, and that they completely lack creativity.

    Then I would like the judge to tell them to get their worthless asses out of his courtroom.

    I watch too much tv.

  2. #2 |  Chris |  July 17th, 2003 at 12:11 pm

    Maybe I should sue Metalica. Ive been playing E and F in that order much longer than they have been a band. They stole it from me!

    WTF is going on in this world?

    Lars is F**KING insane.

  3. #3 |  Bob |  July 17th, 2003 at 12:29 pm

    sucker.

  4. #4 |  Chris Farley |  July 17th, 2003 at 12:56 pm

    Silly, simple Hoosier.

  5. #5 |  Frank N |  July 17th, 2003 at 1:05 pm

    haha!

  6. #6 |  B Kieffer |  July 17th, 2003 at 1:30 pm

    I would just like to point out that Metallica still produces formulaic crap.

  7. #7 |  Interrobang?! |  July 17th, 2003 at 1:45 pm

    Taken In

    Radley Balko got taken in by the Metallica-lawsuit prank. Not to worry. Even the smartest can be duped. Even Ananova thought it was true. (He said, while trying in vain to stifle giggles.) But now the hairy eyeball gets turned…

  8. #8 |  faketeenager |  July 17th, 2003 at 1:51 pm

    As s teenager would say “you got pwned in the face”

  9. #9 |  Andrew Ian Dodge |  July 17th, 2003 at 2:01 pm

    Hey, don’t worry about it I got suckered by the “Angus is dead” internet rumour. Well my source for industry news fell for it, so then I did too.

  10. #10 |  Bobby |  July 17th, 2003 at 3:02 pm

    Regarless of this article, what happened to Metallica? Has anyone heard St. Anger? It sucks, bad. Some would argue that they have sucked for awhile, or always sucked, but there is no doubt they suck now.

  11. #11 |  toshiro888 |  July 17th, 2003 at 3:08 pm

    It sounds as if the master of internet rumor puppets have been pulling many strings.

    Seriously, Metallica has sucked since at least after the black album, maybe after justice even. Lets not even go into the whole load, reload period.

  12. #12 |  Luca Brasi |  July 17th, 2003 at 5:05 pm

    >>>Seriously, Metallica has sucked since at least after the black album, maybe after justice even. Lets not even go into the whole load, reload period.>>you got pwned in the face

  13. #13 |  brooke |  July 18th, 2003 at 11:08 am

    fyi, you can’t copyright a cord progression. otherwise, there would be no jazz or rap.

  14. #14 |  Anonymous |  July 19th, 2003 at 11:44 pm

    I’m rather impressed by their audacious stupidity. Imagine publically admitting that your music’s staying factor was based on two incredibly simple chords. Boyscouts sing more complex tunes around campfires– those have at least three memorable chords.