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Funny, No Mention of How God Punishes Televangelists Who Do Business With Ruthless African Dictators

Friday, June 27th, 2003

The 700 Club says U.S. agitation for peace in the Middle East is forestalling God’s plan for the second coming. That’s making him angry. And so he’s sending us tornadoes.

On April 30, 2003, America was positioned as the catalyst to jump-start the so-called “solution” to the Middle East crisis. As U.S.-backed Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas was sworn in, the “Road Map” peace plan was set in motion.

The very next day began the worst month of tornadoes in American history, more than 500 in a single month. Normally, 1,000 tornadoes hit the United States each year, but this year, in just eight days in May, 375 twisters ripped across the heartland of America.

While in Israel, Assistant Secretary of State William Burns told a group of left-wing activists that “common sense” would override the conservative and Christian viewpoints concerning the road map.

May 9th, 2003, President Bush addressed students at the University of South Carolina. Bush called on the Palestinians to embrace the road to peace, and see the flag of Palestine raised over a free nation.

Hours later, tornadoes returned and Oklahoma City again became the bulls-eye for deadly twisters, reducing what was left of businesses and homes to splinters and bricks. The tornadoes of May devastated the Midwest with the third worst property damage in American history. Since then, the Road Map has endured a rocky road to June, coinciding with what may be America’s most rain-drenched spring in history.

For an explanation of this post’s title, click here.

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This entry was posted on Friday, June 27th, 2003 at 12:20 pm by Radley Balko and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

13 Responses to “Funny, No Mention of How God Punishes Televangelists Who Do Business With Ruthless African Dictators”

  1. #1 |  Kim |  June 27th, 2003 at 12:35 pm

    I have a feeling that when God wants to return to earth it sure as hell ain’t gonna matter what the puny US government is doing.

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  2. #2 |  B Kieffer |  June 27th, 2003 at 12:51 pm

    Hmmm, I don’t remember hearing about any earthquakes, locusts, brimstone showers, etc. yesterday.

    I guess that could be taken as God’s de facto endorsement of gay sex.

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  3. #3 |  Bunnie Foo Foo |  June 27th, 2003 at 1:33 pm

    So God is a “tit-for-tat” kind of guy?

    This is amazing doctrine from the theological heavyweights at the 700 Club.

    This new theology (which is actually millennia old) is that we are punished directly for our sins. Christianity says the opposite: despite our horrible, daily sins — we have redemption and forgiveness in Christ.

    The proof that their argument is fallacious is that the 700 Club is permitted to exist after decades of slandering God and his message of salvation.

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  4. #4 |  Mike M |  June 27th, 2003 at 1:47 pm

    If the doofusses at the 700 Club were to have a serious thought, it would die of loneliness.

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  5. #5 |  Bobby |  June 27th, 2003 at 2:24 pm

    I live in Orlando and Robertson made this same connection when after Disney endorsed “Gay Days at Disney” we had several tornadoes that killed 17 people.

    If God truly disapproved of these events wouldn’t he have focused the storms on the key players in them. Does it really make sense that because God dislikes decisions made in Washington he will throw tornadoes toward Oklahoma? Because he dislikes “Gay Days” he puts tornadoes on the houses of families and kills many children?

    Either God has horrible aim or Robertson is an asshole.

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  6. #6 |  Patrick |  June 27th, 2003 at 2:54 pm

    I’d go with the latter on that on Bobby.

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  7. #7 |  matt |  June 27th, 2003 at 11:15 pm

    just an added tidbit- most or all of the storms they are talking about were in tornado alley during tornado season. It’d be an event in december, but for may, 375 is par for the course. I live in oklahoma city, and the property damage here, from all the storms all year is nothing to may 3rd 1999 (or maybe 2000). later,
    MAtt

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  8. #8 |  Mark D. Fulwiler |  June 28th, 2003 at 8:59 pm

    I’m puzzled as to how anyone can do something against the will of an all powerful God. And since God is supposed know everything, why would he be “angry” at something that he’s always known would happen, and could have prevented?

    Or maybe, just maybe, “God” is bullshit.

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