Help Glen Out.

Thursday, December 12th, 2002

Glen Whitman wants your suggestions for what to call traveleing groups of various professions, as if they were animals.

Example: You call a group of cattle a “herd,” a group of geese a “gaggle.” So what do you call a group of philosophers? Lawyers? Politicians?

We could take this further. What would you call a group of conservatives? Libertarians? Socialists? Ex-presidents? Former Senate Majority Leaders from Mississippi? Bloggers? Semblers? Bushes? TheAgitator.com frequent commenters? Friends of Bill W.?

The possibilities for quirky/bizarre/unconventioanl humor here are endless. Get your creative juices flowing.

Here are a few off the top of my head, all inspired I’m sure by the post-Christmas-party red wine buzz I’m nursing:

“A collective of socialists.”

“A rash of brothel patrons.”

“A lâche of Frenchmen.” (Look it up.)

“A gaggle of female porn stars.”

“A herd of gossip columnists.”

“A categorizing by species is artificial, and degrading to the uniqueness and authenticity of each individual, and therefore this entire excercise is empty and moot of deconstructionists.”

“A brood of McSweeneys contributors and/or independently-owned coffeshop employees.

“A barefoot nun playing a melted purple trumpet of surrealists.”

Your turn.

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20 Responses to “Help Glen Out.”

  1. #1 |  David C | 

    I like the “purple melted trumpet” one, i think that was the best :)

  2. #2 |  Chris Lawrence | 

    Here’s one: a reminiscence of former Senate Majority Leaders from Mississippi.

  3. #3 |  Chip Taylor | 

    How about a steaming pile of lawyers?

    I believe the correct term for a group of select US Senators is a klavern.

  4. #4 |  Mark | 

    A fog of bloggers

  5. #5 |  Chris Farley | 

    A group of US Senators with feet in thier mouths would be a “LOTT.”

    A group of politically extreme women would be a “COVEN.”

    A group of MADD volunteers would obviously be called a “PARTY.”

  6. #6 |  Michael M | 

    A “sleaze” of Clintonites.

  7. #7 |  Frank N | 

    I like the “steaming pile of lawyers” and I keep picturing a myriad of media feeding on the pile.

  8. #8 |  Mark | 

    How bout

    A dunce of reporters

  9. #9 |  Chip Taylor | 

    Or a coprophagy of reporters?

  10. #10 |  Aaron Haspel | 

    I already asked this question about libertarians, back when, and the best answers were a party of libertarians, and a fringe of libertarians.

  11. #11 |  Mark | 

    I am on a roll

    A gust of Senators

    A bloom (mold) of Attorneys

    A waft of libertarians

    A sum of accountants

    A pool of phelbotomists

    A rank of pollsters

    A film of paparazzi

  12. #12 |  John | 

    I don’t know which groups in particular to assign these to, but…
    a flock, a stampede, a posse, a crew, a pack o’, a riot’s worth of, a …

  13. #13 |  Jeff | 

    A cache of programmers

  14. #14 |  Rich Casebolt | 

    A line of telecom professionals (and yes, the “unemployment” prefix is often applicable these days).

    A pack of nerds (not to be confused with a pocket protector).

    A packet of communications engineers.

    A flood of illegal immigrants.

    A class of teachers.

    A class of Java writers.

    A page of webmasters.

    A pantheon of theologians.

    A roll of fat people … now that’s too close to home, so I’d better stop.

  15. #15 |  The Flaming Moderate | 

    I might note that a dali of surrealists is the masculine plural, with the female plural being, of course, a dolly.

  16. #16 |  Seth D. Michaels | 

    Here’s some suggestions (already posted at Ted Barlow’s site):
    -A coccoon of warbloggers
    -A cliche of political journalists
    -A corruption of CEOs
    -A fatigue of TV commentators
    -A disarray of Democrats
    -A bongload of marijuana enthusiasts
    -A box set of music-store clerks
    -A stand of comedians
    -A volume of novelists
    -A pint of brewers
    -A gigabyte of computer nerds
    -A Coulter of right wingers
    -A lexicon of linguists
    -A beat of drummers
    -A Lott of idiots

  17. #17 |  scanner | 

    A mob of Anti-Globalizationists
    A klan of white supremacists
    A nice and orderly group of anarchists

  18. #18 |  rapunzel | 

    a balloon of blondes (full of air…)

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