PEDANTS

I love reading the “Free For All” section of the Washington Post. This is because I’m a bonehead. That is, I don’t have much of a mind for detail. I like “Free For All” because the column down the lefthand side is usually reserved for pedants who delight in finding grammatical and punctuation errors in the Post. I take secret comfort in that lefthand column. Because every time one of these wannabe editors finds a Dana Milbank comma splice, I feel a little less dirty about my own grammatical inaedequacies (like misspelling “inadequacies,” for example).

(Disclosure: I once had a letter published in “Free For All” correcting an article erroneously claiming Back Home Again In Indiana is the official song of the state of Indiana. Not true. The official state song is On the Banks of the Wabash. This is not nitpicking. This is setting the record straight on how we honor the great Hoosier state in song.)

Anyway, this all brings me to my latest Tech Central column. If you’ll scroll to the bottom, you’ll find three posts in the feedback section. All of them take me to task for confusing the terms “logarithm” and “algorithm.” I now know the difference. “Algorithm” is a formula used to solve a problem. “Logarithm” involves the various square roots, hypotenuses and Pythagorean thigamajigs that in high school inevitably led me to conclude that the answer to my homework lies somewhere in Night Court reruns.

Geez. I stand corrected. Yes, I’m a math dunce. In college, I took “Stats for People Who Hate Stats.” It was a summer course. On the first day, the instructor said “I don’t mind if you skip class when the weather’s nice. Just drop me an e-mail so we can discuss a later date to turn in your homework.” I got an “A.” Before that, I took the required “Finite Math” class for nonmath majors. I got a 46% — which was a “C-” with the curve. Fight grade inflation!

What kills me is the arrogance with which these pedants correct others’ grammar. Do they sit at home, diagramming pencil in hand, hitting “refresh,” awaiting mistakes by hack schmucks like me? Here are the three posts. I’ve boldened the going-beyond-a-mere-correction nastiness in each:

Name: Ronald Van Wegen
Subject: Proof-reading is an art

you mean “algorithm” don’t you?

Yes, I did. Sorry. Did you mean to capitalize “you?” How ’bout some punctuation too, tough guy?

Name: russell lane
Subject: whacking google

Thanks -

No problem, Russ. But, while we’re correcting one another, shouldn’t “it’s” be “its?” For a guy who knows his logarithms from his algorithms, you’d think the “its/it’s” thing would be pretty basic, no?

Name: A careful reader
Subject: Poor diction

Please proofread carefully.

This guy takes three belittling swipes in one message.

He. Also. Types. In sentence fragments. Guess grammar’s. Not important on message boards.

I do appreciate guidance when I’ve gone astray. But come on, are the “you should know better” scoldings really necessary?

This entry was posted on Monday, April 8th, 2002 at 4:40 pm by Radley Balko and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.